Living within my flames

22nd March came around and we headed into the dreaded room not knowing who we were going to see this time around. Sitting at the desk was Dr Iyer the same doctor we saw the week before YEAH!!!!

He asked me to describe the pain where it hurt and where it didn’t and out of 10 how bad it was. I sat there and described the pain to the best I could and my words came out as “it feels like some one is trying to cut my arm off with a rusty blunt saw!!!” As soon as I said that I thought oh god here we go, wait for the eyes and the DRAMA ALERT face to appear, the face so many have shown to me since January 15th. Again the same as last week it never came but his eyes brightened almost like a light bulb had gone on in his head.

“Now Paige can you close your eyes please and place both hands on the arm rests……well done….now tell me what hurts when I touch.” Mummy had covered my eyes so no cheating for me! Dr Iyer touched my left hand with the tip of his pen nothing no pain no screams. He then touched my right hand the same way I swear that he tried to push a red hot poker through my hand!!!! I jumped so high my bum left the seat as I screamed the tears fighting to get out I couldn’t cry the pain was that bad.

“Just as I thought….Paige can you sit out in the waiting area please I would like to talk to mum for just a moment”. The nurse walked me out whilst mummy stayed in the tiny room. After a couple of minutes I was called back in.

” Hi Paige….now as you know your hand is very very painful and it really really hurts if anything touches it…that is because you have a condition called CRPS which is Complex Regional Pain Syndrome it’s where the nerves in your body have got all mixed up sending messages to your brain. On Monday you are going to come in and have a little operation where I put you too sleep and put a little injection into the back of your hand which is called a nerve block”. We’ll call this one NEW PANTS please!!!

I remember both mummy and I being in shock but also relived at the same time it’s not all in my head THE PAIN I FEEL IS REAL!!!! We finally had a name for what is wrong with me.